Help finding a college?
want to major in nursing & minor in german.So i was wondering what colleges would allow me to do so.it would also be great if they had a study abroad program,so it wold allow me to study abroad in germany.but if they dont have a study abroad program thats ok.and i would also like to stay in texas if possible,but any school in the country would be fine too.
Higher Education (University +) - 1 Answers
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1 :
Your best option is Texas Tech University.
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Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Air Force Nurse Corps Information
Air Force Nurse Corps Information?
I'm considering entering the Air Force Nurse Corps and I want to hear people's perspectives on it, pros and cons. I just graduated with a BSN and I'm planning to get married next September, so I think if I do decide to go through with it that I'll wait till after then. Miliary isn't something that I've really considered before, but I've started to look at it and it seems like a pretty good option. I have a ton a questions. And what are deployments like? How often are nurses deployed and long do they typically go for? I heard up to a year or longer is possible. Would you get to come home and visit family anytime if you had to be deployed for an entire year? What kind of training do nurses do? I know they go in as officers, so no boot camp, but what kind of training do nurses get? What kind of pay do nurses receive? Is it competitve with civilian nursing jobs? I have about $20,000 in student loans that I need to pay back. I heard the military will help pay back loans, but how exactly does that work? And I want to go to grad school eventually, will they help with that? And I hear they give you money for housing, or you can live on base. Can you live on base for free? Can you have pets? Do you get to pick where you're stationed? I've heard that you make a wish list and they try to honor it. Say I get stationed somewhere I don't like, can you request to transfer somewhere else after a certain amount of time? I'm really interested in traveling and would love to work in other countries, but I wouldn't want to stay in the same place for the full 4 years. I read on the Air Force website that during your 30 days vacation "you can take advantage of available space on Air Force aircraft. You can fly to exotic destinations, including Italy, Australia, England, Germany, Japan and almost any state in the U.S." Does that mean you can fly for free if there's available space? I know that's a ton of questions! I'm just trying to figure out all the benefits. And I'd like to hear people's perspectives on the negative aspects of the military also.
Military - -1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
im the army and military is still just about the same, deployments can be from 9to 15 months, you will have RnR to go back home for 2-4 weeks during your deployment. youll still have to go to boot camp. then ait if im not mistaken. you will recieve your rank pay, you wont get raises like in a regular job. army will pay your student loans just graduate your boot camp ait and get to your unit. you dont get to pick where you wanna be. and its pretty tough moving to a different station, its like people who have to go to korea and dont wanna be thier, they gotta stick with it no matter what. trust me if you love freedome dont join.
Read more discussion :
I'm considering entering the Air Force Nurse Corps and I want to hear people's perspectives on it, pros and cons. I just graduated with a BSN and I'm planning to get married next September, so I think if I do decide to go through with it that I'll wait till after then. Miliary isn't something that I've really considered before, but I've started to look at it and it seems like a pretty good option. I have a ton a questions. And what are deployments like? How often are nurses deployed and long do they typically go for? I heard up to a year or longer is possible. Would you get to come home and visit family anytime if you had to be deployed for an entire year? What kind of training do nurses do? I know they go in as officers, so no boot camp, but what kind of training do nurses get? What kind of pay do nurses receive? Is it competitve with civilian nursing jobs? I have about $20,000 in student loans that I need to pay back. I heard the military will help pay back loans, but how exactly does that work? And I want to go to grad school eventually, will they help with that? And I hear they give you money for housing, or you can live on base. Can you live on base for free? Can you have pets? Do you get to pick where you're stationed? I've heard that you make a wish list and they try to honor it. Say I get stationed somewhere I don't like, can you request to transfer somewhere else after a certain amount of time? I'm really interested in traveling and would love to work in other countries, but I wouldn't want to stay in the same place for the full 4 years. I read on the Air Force website that during your 30 days vacation "you can take advantage of available space on Air Force aircraft. You can fly to exotic destinations, including Italy, Australia, England, Germany, Japan and almost any state in the U.S." Does that mean you can fly for free if there's available space? I know that's a ton of questions! I'm just trying to figure out all the benefits. And I'd like to hear people's perspectives on the negative aspects of the military also.
Military - -1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
im the army and military is still just about the same, deployments can be from 9to 15 months, you will have RnR to go back home for 2-4 weeks during your deployment. youll still have to go to boot camp. then ait if im not mistaken. you will recieve your rank pay, you wont get raises like in a regular job. army will pay your student loans just graduate your boot camp ait and get to your unit. you dont get to pick where you wanna be. and its pretty tough moving to a different station, its like people who have to go to korea and dont wanna be thier, they gotta stick with it no matter what. trust me if you love freedome dont join.
Read more discussion :
Friday, January 7, 2011
Military,Overseas and confused for school
Military,Overseas and confused for school.?
Well long story short...I love my husband with my life we have been married a year and dating 6 years.. We are stationed in Germany, I was accepted into a nursing school for 12months (it lines up perfect with his deployment, so we arent apart by choice...However In order for me to go home and EROD i have to leave him in March an he doesnt deploy till June BUT he will be home in MAY where i will be in TENNESSEE for Block Leave...Everyone is telling me im selfish, he could die..and i know he could but he is going to a pretty safe area that has calmed down in Iraq (no excuse) but Im doing this degree for us , so he can go to college when his time is up and we do not financially strugle...How does that make me selfish?? I feel like im doing the right thing and so does he..I feel horrible for him having to be here 7 weeks alone but this is our future and i cant go to this school again untill Sept 09 (that means i will be away from him for 2 months after his deployment and he goes to another duty station..Am i doing the right thing?? Thanks.. We are young lol 20..High School Sweethearts all the way to middle school..Which is why i think its sooo important to get my degree right now while i have a chance to not be away from him so long. However Trust me two months is nothin to whoever left that comment..We have already spent a year apart before we got married and of course here and there tdys (for weeks to months) just needed second oppions that I wasnt do the wrong thing and i feel really good about what im doing and know we will be fine..I just didnt feel like i was being selfish at all because the degree is for both of us :) Thanks all who left oppions! I really Appreciate
Military - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are doing the right thing. I told every one of my guys when I was in to PLAN FOR SEPARATION the moment you enlist. If you do that you can't go wrong. If you decided to re-up then you're sitting with a bachelor's degree and can choose an officer program possibly. So, you should do the same thing. Plan ahead for the separation. If you can go ahead and get a degree then it would be good for both of you.
2 :
yes you are doing the right thing. YOU need to do what is best for YOUR career too.
3 :
You must be young and in love if you are having this much heartbreak over less than two month's separation. Separation is a normal part of military life. Ignore the "everyone" calling you selfish - their comments say more about their issues than yours.
4 :
These people who think war means they will die, I knew of three soldiers who came home and died so just because they go to war does nto mean they will go over there and die, my husband almiost died two times, but God was with him, I mean miracles do happen over there, you just don;t hear about them and yes soldiers die, but the three I knew came home after deployment, and two died in a car wreck and one was gang related.
5 :
This decision is between the two of you and no one else. It sounds like you have thought this through very carefully and you are doing the best thing for your future together. Unfortunately, you are probably going to feel small regrets whichever choice you make. That doesn't mean that it was a wrong decision, just that some decisions are hard. I agree that it seems like other people are projecting their own issues on you. Good luck - you sound like a smart girl!
Read more discussion :
Well long story short...I love my husband with my life we have been married a year and dating 6 years.. We are stationed in Germany, I was accepted into a nursing school for 12months (it lines up perfect with his deployment, so we arent apart by choice...However In order for me to go home and EROD i have to leave him in March an he doesnt deploy till June BUT he will be home in MAY where i will be in TENNESSEE for Block Leave...Everyone is telling me im selfish, he could die..and i know he could but he is going to a pretty safe area that has calmed down in Iraq (no excuse) but Im doing this degree for us , so he can go to college when his time is up and we do not financially strugle...How does that make me selfish?? I feel like im doing the right thing and so does he..I feel horrible for him having to be here 7 weeks alone but this is our future and i cant go to this school again untill Sept 09 (that means i will be away from him for 2 months after his deployment and he goes to another duty station..Am i doing the right thing?? Thanks.. We are young lol 20..High School Sweethearts all the way to middle school..Which is why i think its sooo important to get my degree right now while i have a chance to not be away from him so long. However Trust me two months is nothin to whoever left that comment..We have already spent a year apart before we got married and of course here and there tdys (for weeks to months) just needed second oppions that I wasnt do the wrong thing and i feel really good about what im doing and know we will be fine..I just didnt feel like i was being selfish at all because the degree is for both of us :) Thanks all who left oppions! I really Appreciate
Military - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You are doing the right thing. I told every one of my guys when I was in to PLAN FOR SEPARATION the moment you enlist. If you do that you can't go wrong. If you decided to re-up then you're sitting with a bachelor's degree and can choose an officer program possibly. So, you should do the same thing. Plan ahead for the separation. If you can go ahead and get a degree then it would be good for both of you.
2 :
yes you are doing the right thing. YOU need to do what is best for YOUR career too.
3 :
You must be young and in love if you are having this much heartbreak over less than two month's separation. Separation is a normal part of military life. Ignore the "everyone" calling you selfish - their comments say more about their issues than yours.
4 :
These people who think war means they will die, I knew of three soldiers who came home and died so just because they go to war does nto mean they will go over there and die, my husband almiost died two times, but God was with him, I mean miracles do happen over there, you just don;t hear about them and yes soldiers die, but the three I knew came home after deployment, and two died in a car wreck and one was gang related.
5 :
This decision is between the two of you and no one else. It sounds like you have thought this through very carefully and you are doing the best thing for your future together. Unfortunately, you are probably going to feel small regrets whichever choice you make. That doesn't mean that it was a wrong decision, just that some decisions are hard. I agree that it seems like other people are projecting their own issues on you. Good luck - you sound like a smart girl!
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Saturday, January 1, 2011
Help solve this debate between me and my husband
Help solve this debate between me and my husband?
We had to move to Germany for 3 years because of his job. We have been here for 1 year and both of us are unhappy. I am unhappy because there are no jobs here except checking groceries, and sometimes an admin job pops up. The place is very small. I love being a medical asst., which is what I went to school for, but there are never any opening for that. I am also unhappy because I had to quit nursing school, which is not offered here, either. BUT I knew this coming over here...I knew that if we came here, I would need to suck it up and drive on because at least my husband isn't getting sent to Iraq. HE is unhappy because I am no longer bringing in any income. He bitches about it nonstop. So, I finally found something that I am partial to. I want to watch up to 6 kids in our home during the day. I am going to add additional details to explain why I like this and why he is not OK with me doing this. I want to watch kids at our house because I can make more money doing this that any of the other jobs offered here.I have already been cleared (background check) to do it.I don't have to provide anything...they give me money to by supplies,toys and food for the kids.They also train me.It would be really fun to me and I think I would be good at it.It would make me happy. HE says he does not want to come home some days and see other peoples kids in our house....tearing up our house. I feel this is unfair because I have sacraficed alot for his job...why can't be deal with this for ME?It is only temporarty (2 years) and he would get the extra income he wants,and I would be happy with lots of work to keep me busy...plus happy with the job itself.This man also expects me to move to HIS home state, far from my own family,for the rest of my life. We ARE needed there,but I hate that state.But once again,I am willing to suck it up, be happy and sacrafice.Shouldn't he do the same?
Marriage & Divorce - 22 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
if your asking should i do this..sure why not
2 :
so get the grocery checker job. You never know what will open up from that. Let your supervisors know that you will take on additional responsibility.
3 :
You will not be happy doing your job if he is not happy with it. I suggest move somewhere where you both can do what you want and be happy.
4 :
u know, i think your husband is not a good husband. but u have chosen him. when i was searchign for a husband i informed him in advance that i WILL NOT BE WORKING even thou i graduated university and have master degree. i have my fabulous body to take care and my own 3 children. so now he is working and staying shut. i go to gym every day, watch my children and spend his money. this is what women do. but in your case u either dump him cos he is not a good husband anyway or suck it up and go flip groceries
5 :
Ask him why he is not okay with you doing this to help out... See what he has to say about it. Would this be good income and help out alot? What kind of other things are you good at? Why dont you go back to school over there and try a different field or something like that? You know maybe you could work in a nursing home or some place like that and there might be pretty good money in that as well. Good luck to you and I hope you can find something soon that will help out. Are there any day care centers over there you can work at? Maybe you could go to peoples homes to watch kids. There should be some way to compromise here a bit so you are both happy about it. Tell him that if he wants help and money from you then he needs to let you do this. Ask him what is worth more to him the house or the money you make by doing this?
6 :
Where is "here"? If you're in the States there are medical jobs all over. You aren't looking very hard if this is the case. If you want to watch kids for the income and it will save your marriage then look very seriously at doing that. Daycare can provide a decent income but it's a lot of work.
7 :
seems to me like YOU are doing all the sacrificing and *someone* is being Mr. Greedypants...I think I would tell him that you will no longer be the only one to *suck it up*...he can sacrifice with you, or he can sacrifice without you.
8 :
He sounds like a "my way, or the highway" kind of man. He wants everything just the way HE wants it, wthout considering what you want at all. You can give in, do what he wants all the time....but you will NEVER be happy! Life, and marriage, is all about compromise.
9 :
marriage is 50/50, he has to give a little too.
10 :
OK is the problem kids or just the mess they leave? Because if you are Germany, you are probably renting an apartment or in base housing. (It sounds like you are a military family) So, if the place is cleaned up so there is no evidence the kids were there, would you husband still object? The question to ask is what do you need to do for him to be enthusiastic about you performing this job? His concerns are just as valid as your enthusiasm about doing this. So you cannot dismiss his concerns and say he has nothing to worry about anymore than you would want him to just say no to this. So your conversation has to be about what would make him enthusiastic about this. Either that or he needs to stop moaning about you not providing an income right now. He is probably under a lot of stress. I was an unmarried officer in Germany in the late 80's and early 90's and didn't always have enough money to live, especially with a strong Deutsch Mark (you have the Euro now, no better for you) so if he is anything less than an E6 or E7, there are probably financial pressures simply because the military doesn't pay well. So it's a fine balancing act, and I agree, he may not be behaving well, and probably needs some counseling and/or coaching to help him deal and communicate effectively and respectfully. Ask him to read this as well.
11 :
I believe your description of your options detail where you are in a limited position to exercise options that are clearly not available and limit possibilities. Your husband seems to want things that are not available to your or he, and the limitations are imposed by his position there in Germany. If you're without children, I would suggest going back to school there, learning languages, or something in the medical field that will benefit you when you return back to the US.
12 :
I understand and agree that daycare would be a fun and rewarding job for you, but your husband is probably pretty stressed out and who can blame him for not wanting to come home to a madhouse. However, this is not your life's calling, you said--just something to get you by, so if he can't deal with it, I think you should respect that. If you both agree you need to work, you'll have to take what's available. Low-level jobs may not be very stimulating, but they are good to pass the time and will help you meet people and socialize. Look on the bright side for the sake of your family.
13 :
I say you have a good point. If he doesn't like what you do (or doesn't like what you don't do), how come he doesn't have to do something about it? The way I see it, it's not about 'I sacrificed this, you sacrified that' - I am not for emotional bookkeeping. A relationship should not consist of mutual sacrifices. But he can be much, much more constructive than simply saying 'no' to everything he doesn't like. He has a point about other people in the house, but he doesn't help you to find any alternatives, does he? I would recommend you do NOT focus on the situation he brought you in, but instead focus on what he does for you. So, for instance, you can tell him that the kids-keeping job is out the minute he gets you a job that you like. If he doesn't help you to get something else, he has no right to complain if you take matters into your own hands. How come he gets to do exactly what he likes? Why can't he do what he likes in a place that's better for you? I see his point, he's being sent there. But you're not furniture that he takes with him. He must take care of his wife. To me that would mean: Place my wife in a situation where she can help herself. He's not doing that at all. Bottom line: If he wants to be happy, you should be happy. And he should help you with that. He can't just complain about things he doesn't like if he doesn't do anything to change them. It also sounds like his job is very convenient for him to hide behind. But you have nothing to hide behind and it's unfair to hold that against you. I'd give him a simple choice: Either put me in a better place where I can do something we both like, or accept that I make the best of this place you put me in! There is no third option, this is it!
14 :
Tell him if he wants a second income then he should suck it up. You deserve to do what ever job will make you happiest just as he made his career choice. Suggestion, is there a room that you could designate as the babysitting room? or maybe a space you could make a kid free zone for your husband to retreat to when he doesn't want to see the mess or the kids.
15 :
There's a way to win this debate. Tell him to work 2 jobs or you will watch these kids. Either choice will bring in more money.
16 :
Sorry for long answer! From my point of view your husband is worried about money and its dominating his thinking. He may feel that he is shouldering all the financial responsibility and perhaps he thinks this is unfair to him. Work out how much income would you make from watching the children on a monthly basis, and an annual total. Then show him this, explaining that if he wants this extra income - he needs to put up with the kids' mess. Just like renting out a room to pay help pay for a mortgage on a new house - you have to make some sacrifice to get what you want. Explain again that all equip, training is paid for. Ask him to try it out for two months and then review if it has helped the BOTH of you. He is being a tad selfish, he knew how the situation would be before you moved. But I have feeling you its better for your happiness to try to win this arguement. Good luck
17 :
ok, he also knew you would have to look for work and possibly not find anything for a while. ask him if he was qualified at your level, would he take a job in a shop? ask him if he wants you to bring in an income, then you both need to discuss it and come to a compromise. can the children be gone by the time he gets home? or can you go to college p/t to re-train or add to your current qualifications and take a p/t job, whatever it is, to help with home finances? but i agree that he does seem rather selfish from your description... you cant make ALL the sacrifices, all relationships must have a point of compromise and keep communication open. keeping 6 kids entertained all day can be fun, but also really stressful. i worked as a nanny for a few years before i had my kids, and not all of the kids in my care were nice! i got on with most of them and pretended i got on with the one or two spoilt monsters! but its tiring, sometimes monotonous, hard work and a lot of responsibility. have you got kids of your own? have you got nephews/neices etc? do you know how and what to do with a bunch of pre-schoolers?! make sure you do lots of research before you embark on this path, and check ouot whetehr there is a need in your area, as there may be established carers already. above all, make sure you both are happy, at least half the time! try hard to keep calm and rational when you talk to him, and explain in a tactful way, not a 'point-scoring' way, how much you have given up or changed for him in your life, and thats fine because you love him, but only if he's able to do the same for you too. good luck!!
18 :
Did you ever consider getting a job off-base? Where are you at in Germany? Are there any other bases close by that you can try and get a job at? I honestly don't blame your husband for not wanting to deal with other people's children in his home. Military life is stressful, and kids that aren't your own "tearing up your house" is an added stress he doesn't want to deal with or need. Have you ever been a day-care provider? Especially for other military members? They don't have set hours(meaning they could be called in/scheduled to come in during times that aren't their usual time), there will be times when they will want/need you to take their kids very early or keep them very late. If you are on/near a base that is big enough for a comissarry, you should be able to find something more then checking groceries.
19 :
I agree with your husband. Both of you would have had to agree to make it work. Your home won't be the same after having a daycare. Look for something else. Time for you to stop being so resentful toward your husband.
20 :
It sounds good, I know the lady that provides day care for my child makes a fortune. Although she has a lot of cleaning to do at the end of the day, do you have a basement level that you could convert to a day care space? That would keep the little ones out of your living space. You should talk to your husband tell him you will be happy doing this, seeing as how your field of expertise is not opening up. Watching the children and teaching them, if that will make you happy then you should do it. Good Luck
21 :
Marriage is great when you work and talk things out your day is 90 % attitude 10% of what happens pick yourself up work as a team not against each other you need more love affection and caring for each other instead of self . If your that straped for money down size live on less than you make and be thankful for what you have and work for what you both want set some goals with each other were you all want to go ,be and do . If you enjoy day care work things out that the house is not trashed their is good money their and helping young ones grow the right way but it is hard work it will be tough also maybe start small for a trial time prove it can work . Work with each other lots of talking ,hugs, kisses sexual and non-sexual . Best of wish to you both . If he is military Please tell him thanks for protecting US and serving US .
22 :
i think you have sacrificed for him, and now he needs to suck it up as well.....you need to happy as well, sounds like he is very unreasonable to me.....big baby
Read more discussion :
We had to move to Germany for 3 years because of his job. We have been here for 1 year and both of us are unhappy. I am unhappy because there are no jobs here except checking groceries, and sometimes an admin job pops up. The place is very small. I love being a medical asst., which is what I went to school for, but there are never any opening for that. I am also unhappy because I had to quit nursing school, which is not offered here, either. BUT I knew this coming over here...I knew that if we came here, I would need to suck it up and drive on because at least my husband isn't getting sent to Iraq. HE is unhappy because I am no longer bringing in any income. He bitches about it nonstop. So, I finally found something that I am partial to. I want to watch up to 6 kids in our home during the day. I am going to add additional details to explain why I like this and why he is not OK with me doing this. I want to watch kids at our house because I can make more money doing this that any of the other jobs offered here.I have already been cleared (background check) to do it.I don't have to provide anything...they give me money to by supplies,toys and food for the kids.They also train me.It would be really fun to me and I think I would be good at it.It would make me happy. HE says he does not want to come home some days and see other peoples kids in our house....tearing up our house. I feel this is unfair because I have sacraficed alot for his job...why can't be deal with this for ME?It is only temporarty (2 years) and he would get the extra income he wants,and I would be happy with lots of work to keep me busy...plus happy with the job itself.This man also expects me to move to HIS home state, far from my own family,for the rest of my life. We ARE needed there,but I hate that state.But once again,I am willing to suck it up, be happy and sacrafice.Shouldn't he do the same?
Marriage & Divorce - 22 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
if your asking should i do this..sure why not
2 :
so get the grocery checker job. You never know what will open up from that. Let your supervisors know that you will take on additional responsibility.
3 :
You will not be happy doing your job if he is not happy with it. I suggest move somewhere where you both can do what you want and be happy.
4 :
u know, i think your husband is not a good husband. but u have chosen him. when i was searchign for a husband i informed him in advance that i WILL NOT BE WORKING even thou i graduated university and have master degree. i have my fabulous body to take care and my own 3 children. so now he is working and staying shut. i go to gym every day, watch my children and spend his money. this is what women do. but in your case u either dump him cos he is not a good husband anyway or suck it up and go flip groceries
5 :
Ask him why he is not okay with you doing this to help out... See what he has to say about it. Would this be good income and help out alot? What kind of other things are you good at? Why dont you go back to school over there and try a different field or something like that? You know maybe you could work in a nursing home or some place like that and there might be pretty good money in that as well. Good luck to you and I hope you can find something soon that will help out. Are there any day care centers over there you can work at? Maybe you could go to peoples homes to watch kids. There should be some way to compromise here a bit so you are both happy about it. Tell him that if he wants help and money from you then he needs to let you do this. Ask him what is worth more to him the house or the money you make by doing this?
6 :
Where is "here"? If you're in the States there are medical jobs all over. You aren't looking very hard if this is the case. If you want to watch kids for the income and it will save your marriage then look very seriously at doing that. Daycare can provide a decent income but it's a lot of work.
7 :
seems to me like YOU are doing all the sacrificing and *someone* is being Mr. Greedypants...I think I would tell him that you will no longer be the only one to *suck it up*...he can sacrifice with you, or he can sacrifice without you.
8 :
He sounds like a "my way, or the highway" kind of man. He wants everything just the way HE wants it, wthout considering what you want at all. You can give in, do what he wants all the time....but you will NEVER be happy! Life, and marriage, is all about compromise.
9 :
marriage is 50/50, he has to give a little too.
10 :
OK is the problem kids or just the mess they leave? Because if you are Germany, you are probably renting an apartment or in base housing. (It sounds like you are a military family) So, if the place is cleaned up so there is no evidence the kids were there, would you husband still object? The question to ask is what do you need to do for him to be enthusiastic about you performing this job? His concerns are just as valid as your enthusiasm about doing this. So you cannot dismiss his concerns and say he has nothing to worry about anymore than you would want him to just say no to this. So your conversation has to be about what would make him enthusiastic about this. Either that or he needs to stop moaning about you not providing an income right now. He is probably under a lot of stress. I was an unmarried officer in Germany in the late 80's and early 90's and didn't always have enough money to live, especially with a strong Deutsch Mark (you have the Euro now, no better for you) so if he is anything less than an E6 or E7, there are probably financial pressures simply because the military doesn't pay well. So it's a fine balancing act, and I agree, he may not be behaving well, and probably needs some counseling and/or coaching to help him deal and communicate effectively and respectfully. Ask him to read this as well.
11 :
I believe your description of your options detail where you are in a limited position to exercise options that are clearly not available and limit possibilities. Your husband seems to want things that are not available to your or he, and the limitations are imposed by his position there in Germany. If you're without children, I would suggest going back to school there, learning languages, or something in the medical field that will benefit you when you return back to the US.
12 :
I understand and agree that daycare would be a fun and rewarding job for you, but your husband is probably pretty stressed out and who can blame him for not wanting to come home to a madhouse. However, this is not your life's calling, you said--just something to get you by, so if he can't deal with it, I think you should respect that. If you both agree you need to work, you'll have to take what's available. Low-level jobs may not be very stimulating, but they are good to pass the time and will help you meet people and socialize. Look on the bright side for the sake of your family.
13 :
I say you have a good point. If he doesn't like what you do (or doesn't like what you don't do), how come he doesn't have to do something about it? The way I see it, it's not about 'I sacrificed this, you sacrified that' - I am not for emotional bookkeeping. A relationship should not consist of mutual sacrifices. But he can be much, much more constructive than simply saying 'no' to everything he doesn't like. He has a point about other people in the house, but he doesn't help you to find any alternatives, does he? I would recommend you do NOT focus on the situation he brought you in, but instead focus on what he does for you. So, for instance, you can tell him that the kids-keeping job is out the minute he gets you a job that you like. If he doesn't help you to get something else, he has no right to complain if you take matters into your own hands. How come he gets to do exactly what he likes? Why can't he do what he likes in a place that's better for you? I see his point, he's being sent there. But you're not furniture that he takes with him. He must take care of his wife. To me that would mean: Place my wife in a situation where she can help herself. He's not doing that at all. Bottom line: If he wants to be happy, you should be happy. And he should help you with that. He can't just complain about things he doesn't like if he doesn't do anything to change them. It also sounds like his job is very convenient for him to hide behind. But you have nothing to hide behind and it's unfair to hold that against you. I'd give him a simple choice: Either put me in a better place where I can do something we both like, or accept that I make the best of this place you put me in! There is no third option, this is it!
14 :
Tell him if he wants a second income then he should suck it up. You deserve to do what ever job will make you happiest just as he made his career choice. Suggestion, is there a room that you could designate as the babysitting room? or maybe a space you could make a kid free zone for your husband to retreat to when he doesn't want to see the mess or the kids.
15 :
There's a way to win this debate. Tell him to work 2 jobs or you will watch these kids. Either choice will bring in more money.
16 :
Sorry for long answer! From my point of view your husband is worried about money and its dominating his thinking. He may feel that he is shouldering all the financial responsibility and perhaps he thinks this is unfair to him. Work out how much income would you make from watching the children on a monthly basis, and an annual total. Then show him this, explaining that if he wants this extra income - he needs to put up with the kids' mess. Just like renting out a room to pay help pay for a mortgage on a new house - you have to make some sacrifice to get what you want. Explain again that all equip, training is paid for. Ask him to try it out for two months and then review if it has helped the BOTH of you. He is being a tad selfish, he knew how the situation would be before you moved. But I have feeling you its better for your happiness to try to win this arguement. Good luck
17 :
ok, he also knew you would have to look for work and possibly not find anything for a while. ask him if he was qualified at your level, would he take a job in a shop? ask him if he wants you to bring in an income, then you both need to discuss it and come to a compromise. can the children be gone by the time he gets home? or can you go to college p/t to re-train or add to your current qualifications and take a p/t job, whatever it is, to help with home finances? but i agree that he does seem rather selfish from your description... you cant make ALL the sacrifices, all relationships must have a point of compromise and keep communication open. keeping 6 kids entertained all day can be fun, but also really stressful. i worked as a nanny for a few years before i had my kids, and not all of the kids in my care were nice! i got on with most of them and pretended i got on with the one or two spoilt monsters! but its tiring, sometimes monotonous, hard work and a lot of responsibility. have you got kids of your own? have you got nephews/neices etc? do you know how and what to do with a bunch of pre-schoolers?! make sure you do lots of research before you embark on this path, and check ouot whetehr there is a need in your area, as there may be established carers already. above all, make sure you both are happy, at least half the time! try hard to keep calm and rational when you talk to him, and explain in a tactful way, not a 'point-scoring' way, how much you have given up or changed for him in your life, and thats fine because you love him, but only if he's able to do the same for you too. good luck!!
18 :
Did you ever consider getting a job off-base? Where are you at in Germany? Are there any other bases close by that you can try and get a job at? I honestly don't blame your husband for not wanting to deal with other people's children in his home. Military life is stressful, and kids that aren't your own "tearing up your house" is an added stress he doesn't want to deal with or need. Have you ever been a day-care provider? Especially for other military members? They don't have set hours(meaning they could be called in/scheduled to come in during times that aren't their usual time), there will be times when they will want/need you to take their kids very early or keep them very late. If you are on/near a base that is big enough for a comissarry, you should be able to find something more then checking groceries.
19 :
I agree with your husband. Both of you would have had to agree to make it work. Your home won't be the same after having a daycare. Look for something else. Time for you to stop being so resentful toward your husband.
20 :
It sounds good, I know the lady that provides day care for my child makes a fortune. Although she has a lot of cleaning to do at the end of the day, do you have a basement level that you could convert to a day care space? That would keep the little ones out of your living space. You should talk to your husband tell him you will be happy doing this, seeing as how your field of expertise is not opening up. Watching the children and teaching them, if that will make you happy then you should do it. Good Luck
21 :
Marriage is great when you work and talk things out your day is 90 % attitude 10% of what happens pick yourself up work as a team not against each other you need more love affection and caring for each other instead of self . If your that straped for money down size live on less than you make and be thankful for what you have and work for what you both want set some goals with each other were you all want to go ,be and do . If you enjoy day care work things out that the house is not trashed their is good money their and helping young ones grow the right way but it is hard work it will be tough also maybe start small for a trial time prove it can work . Work with each other lots of talking ,hugs, kisses sexual and non-sexual . Best of wish to you both . If he is military Please tell him thanks for protecting US and serving US .
22 :
i think you have sacrificed for him, and now he needs to suck it up as well.....you need to happy as well, sounds like he is very unreasonable to me.....big baby
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